Example Of Raymond Carver's "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love." Literature Review

Analysis of what love means in Raymond Carver's "What we talk about when we talk about love" and Tillie Olsen’s "I Stand Here Ironing."

Introduction

Raymond Carver’s “What we talk about when we talk about Love" and Tillie Olsen’s "I Stand Here Ironing" are important literary works that share many elements. Both stories have an interest in the topic of love, and the authors approach the subject from different perspectives. In spite of their approaches and the varying characterization, the authors use their stories to show the extent to which interpersonal relations can affect human relations. Based on the two stories, it is right to assert that the nature of human relations suffers many effects from social factors such as communication and parenthood as many relationships in the stories explore the theme of love.

Love has several meanings in the Carver’s short story. According to the author, the first meaning of love is its elusive nature such that most of the characters cannot find an appropriate way to express it. Throughout the story, love is consistently elusive in spite of the efforts by the characters to define and show it to the people who are very close to them. In the story, Mel attempts to define love in several incidences but he does not manage because the conclusions he makes about love do not add up to anything tangible. For instance, he narrates a story to his friends where an old couple almost died in a terrible car accident and the old man suffered much depression because he could not see his wife (Schakel and Ridl 2). Instead of his friends trying to understand the context of love in the story, it confuses them even further. According to Ozaki, “love is hard to find and show” (23). The attribute makes the reader understand that the “meaning of love is its elusiveness” (Ozaki 24). As much as some characters like Mel believe that love is tender, they tend to contradict their convictions in other instances. For example, he tells Terri that she can have abusive love if she believes that it is true love.
On the other hand, love also implies an immeasurable feeling that cannot be expressed adequately through actions and words. It is an innate feeling, one that people have no ability to quantify or describe. It is a complexity of human nature, which is often unique to a specific person. In the story, Nick and Laura believe that they are aware of what love is. According to Carver, “they talk about it although they do not come up with a clear explanation or definition of love” (15). They express their love through actions such as holding hands and blushing. However, these actions demonstrate the complex nature of love given that other characters may use abusive language as a show of love. In the story, love emerges as a complicated subject to an extent that the actions of the characters add to the complexity of the subject rather than unmasking it. Such complexity is also proven as the characters struggle to show love to each other. In one incidence, one couple is intimate and holds hands in the name of love. On the contrary, another couple expresses love through violence as Ed stalked, beat, and threatened Terri as a show of love.
The complexity of love continues in the story when four friends converse about love. It is proof that the story shows that language is inadequate when it comes to expressing love. They cannot define it, which shows that language is inadequate when it comes to describing the abstract and emotional aspects of love. Mel talks more than any other character in this conversation. In spite of his efforts, his stories end up in rambling digressions and bloated stories. In the ends, he has trouble expressing his feelings thoughts. On the other hand, Terri also shares much about Ed, her previous lover. When Mel challenges her thoughts, she expresses her intuition by arguing that Ed was her true love in spite of Mel’s thoughts (Schakel and Ridl 3). According to Ozaki, Terri may not be expressing herself convincingly but the fact that her intuition suggests other indicates that innate feelings may be “powerful in expressing love compared to words” (18).

Tillie Olsen’s "I Stand Here Ironing."

In this story, the love also has many meanings, and it is used by the author to expresses several aspects and obligations in life. First, love portrays the difficult role of parenthood by expressing the unspoken burdens that come with being a mother. In the story, the author suggests that the society has many expectations when it comes to mothers, and they expect them to show selfless love regardless of the situation they find themselves. Olsen adds that such expectations of selfless giving are an obstacle to the goals and ambitions that women have. Instead of assisting the women to attain self-actualization, motherhood seems to undermine this ambitions and achievements by filling their lives with endless toil and responsibility. The author presents a protagonist who does not portray an ideal role model of success for mothers. According to Schakel and Ridl, the protagonist constantly meditates about the bitter and harsh realities for mothers in the family context of life. She says, “You think because I am her mother I have a key, or that in some way you could use me as a key. There is all that life that has happened outside of me, beyond me” (3). The statement shows the tough times experienced by the protagonist and the burden of motherhood.
Love implies that women have to fulfill all these obligations regardless of their personal achievements. Given that they love their children and husbands, it is their duty to fulfill all the obligations and chores at home. In this context, loves means that our relationships with other people impose a responsibility to perform certain duties in spite of our personal needs and preferences. In spite of the feeling that loving others is a burden, love means that people will feel guilty if they do not fulfill the obligations that they owe others. For instance, the narrator feels guilty and regrets the fact she could not improve the fortunes of her daughter, Emily (Olsen 4). The narrator acknowledges that they faced tough condition in the early stages of their life, but the love she has for her daughter cannot allow her to use that as an excuse for her daughter’s inadequacies. In spite of the reality that it is not her fault, the complexity of love emerges in this context as the narrator feels the obligation although it is not her fault.

Conclusion

In both stories, the authors seem to show love as a complex feeling engraved in human relations. It makes people act in ways that they do not want. It even makes people feel guilty, depressed, or regret even through what others are experiencing is not their fault. The characters in both stories help to show the nature of love and the attributes that come with it.

Works Cited

Carver, Raymond. Beginners: The Original Version of "what We Talk About When We Talk About Love". London: Jonathan Cape, 2009. Print.
Olsen, Tillie. Tillie Olsen Discusses I Stand Here Ironing. New York: Films Media Group, 2006. Print.
Ozaki, Peggy. An Analysis of Raymond Carver's "glimpse" Aesthetic in His Collection of Short Stories, What We Talk About When We Talk About Love. N.p., 2000. Print.
Schakel, Peter J, and Jack Ridl. Approaching Literature: Reading + Thinking + Writing. Boston: Bedford/St. Martins, 2012. Print.