Free Argumentative Essay About How Self-Sabotage Impairs One’s Self-Esteem

“Don’t do it!” “It’s useless to even try because you will end up a failure anyway.” “You do not have what it takes.” “You are too shy to approach people; you can’t sell these products to anyone”. These statements may sound cruel and harsh coming from other people especially from those whose goal is to destroy another person’s self-confidence. While other people can be too critical, most often, it is the individual who is the biggest critic of himself. Engaging in pessimistic thinking and talking is something that humans are prone to do when exposed to depressing situations. However, if the individual keeps up with this kind of internal conversations, it is inevitable that it would soon result to self-sabotage, which would hinder the individual from achieving his goals and aspirations in life. Self-sabotage is a destructive behavior that can hinder an individual’s personal and professional growth and lead to a depressing personal state and low personal esteem.

Why People Resort to Self-Sabotaging Behaviors

Most people do it unconsciously. People do not necessarily have the impulse to put down one’s self, but due to situations that they have been exposed to in childhood, feelings of unworthiness develop, which the person instinctively learns as he or she grows up. Most of the time, these self-saboteurs have “an unconscious need to be in control” (Tyrrell). This is brought about by feelings of inadequateness in handling success and enjoying its fruits. When success becomes too much, unconsciously, these individuals do something that would eventually make him fail because he could not handle the success that he is experiencing.
There are also those people whose self-esteem is so low that they feel they do not deserve any of the success and happiness they are receiving (Tyrrell). This could be attributed to their experience with failure. Usually, these individuals have been used to the idea and feeling of failure and underachievement that when they show signs of victory, they become disconcerted and uneasy.
For some people, they also have a great craving for excitement such that even if everything around them is going on smoothly, they would rather rock the boat than enjoy the calm and sense of achievement that they have. While this feeling could be used constructively, the discomfort of people with self-sabotaging tendencies often push them to excessive drinking sprees, smoking, and expressions of anger (Tyrrell).

Common Actions of Self-Sabotaging People

People do not usually realize that they are sabotaging themselves with their actions. Sometimes, people point out that the reason they do not succeed is that they are inadequately prepared for a job, for instance, or that they lack the skills and abilities to perform a task. In some instances, they feel less of a person as compared with other individuals. These negative feelings bring about negative messages that the person accepts as true and the more the individual attributes his failure to various reasons instead of acting on those feelings and improving the situation, the more he gets caught up in a self-sabotaging cycle that becomes a habit. In general, people who sabotage themselves engage in any of the following:
They procrastinate. They know they are supposed to do something. They are well-equipped in completing the task but instead of getting down to business, they always put off doing their tasks. Some may begin with the task, but do not have the drive to finish the job. Still, for others, despite having all the resources to complete their tasks, they are hindered by feelings of inadequacies or de-motivation (Selby, Pychyl, Marano, & Jaffe, 2011).
They always worry. People who sabotage themselves fear failure. They worry over what other people will say, which leaves them anxious about things that do not matter. As such, they doubt themselves and resort to self-deprecating tactics. This also results to them experiencing bouts of panic attack or depression symptoms.
They are always angry. Some people resort to self-assertion when communicating with others thinking that by being aggressive, they will be able to control others. What they do not realize is that this behavior only destroys relationships further. With constant antipathy, antagonism, and distrust, no relationships are nurtured (PsychAlive).
They have unfulfilled life aspirations. Just like other people, they dream and aspire for success and happiness. However, their pessimistic attitude and angry stance inhibit them from achieving their goals and desires.

Conclusion

People are oftentimes their own worst enemy as they use negative self-talk to approach their day to day life. This is detrimental to one’s self-esteem. It is bad enough to hear others speak ill of an individual, but is more a problem if the individual puts himself down. While people have engaged in this type of self-talk, they should not dwell much on the feeling and idea. Instead, they should strive to make things better around them. If they start a project energetically and enthusiastically, then they should continually motivate themselves in order to reach their goals. Though others show initial enthusiasm on shared endeavors, time comes when they have to contend with themselves. When this happens, sometimes, the results are not positive as they are even the first ones to put themselves down and do not have the drive to really succeed and reach their goals. An obvious sign that an individual engages in self-sabotaging is when they suddenly stop doing their tasks or reach their goals without any specific reason. Even if the desire, ability, and skill is present, people who sabotage themselves just stops from moving forward and instead, wallow in self-pity and depression.

References

PsychAlive. (n.d.). Self-sabotaging: Why we get in our own way. Retrieved from http://www.psychalive.org/self-sabotaging/
Selby, E.A., Pychyl, T., Marano, H.E., & Jaffe, A. (2011). Self-sabotage: The enemy within. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201109/self-sabotage-the-enemy-within
Tyrrell, M. (n.d.). How to stop self-sabotage behavior. Retrieved from http://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/stop-self-sabotage-behaviour/