Good Example Of Take Time To Reflect On The Review Process AND The Feedback You Received Essay

The main area that I need to address in my paper would have to by my grammar – many times, I miss articles, like the words “a” or “the,” or I use the wrong words in sentences. For example, I am supposed to say “Zlatan is married with a beautiful Swedish model,” instead of “on.” Either way, my peers have told me that I carry a good vocabulary of English, and this would be my strongest characteristic. I also can write long sentences, so I have a grasp on how to write the English language. But in order to make them better, I need a better understanding of English grammar so that I can continue to improve my writing skills and make my long sentences more legible.
In order to remedy my weaknesses, I would need to let other students proofread my paper with me, so that I can learn how to address my grammar issues better. There were some aspects about my original paper that some students did not understand. I added more information about Zlatan’s childhood in my revised paper, hopefully so that others can understand that he had a difficult childhood.
The purpose of my personal essay was to show how Zlatan is my personal hero and my role model. I said in my paper that he was a person of significance for me. I wrote about his life story, and I ended with statements of how I remember him when I feel doubtful about my own future. But I think that in order to better show my purpose, I think need to talk more about why I like his qualities when I write about his life choices. Doing this would make my paper much stronger.
I think I wrote enough about Zlatan’s struggles and triumphs to draw in the reader and make him or her interested in his life. But since this essay is supposed to be about how he is my significant role model, I need to make it more personal, so that the reader can relate to me.