Good Listening Observation Essay Example

Speaking is always very important as it is the main activity of conversation. However, there is another not less important part, namely, listening, which actually enables conversation and make it successful. We hardly ever notice our own listening habits and listening behaviors. But we always pay attention to those of the other people. We deduce, we judge and we simply feel if they are listening to us or not. On the basis of our observations we can consider and sort our good and bad listening behaviors.

Bad listening behaviors:

What irritates us the most while having a conversation is that the person we are talking to does not seem to listen and understand us. For example, at home my mam is talking to me and telling how her day was or what she thinks about my new jeans. I also had a long day and now I am having my supper and do not want to perceive more information (and especially negative or critical) and simply refuse to perceive it and block my mind. That is why we pretty often hear from our mams: “Am I talking to wall?”
Doing a hundred of thing, except listening attentively. It usually happens that we do not have enough time to sit and have a proper conversation with a cup of tea. It looked not very polite when while “listening” people were rushing around the room, looking for something, were doing different stuff (washing dishes, cleaning the room, looking for documents, etc.) not paying much attention to the matter I was talking about.
No control of reactions. Whether you like the person or not, we should always show good manners and respect the speaker and it does not matter what he/she is saying and control our emotions. While talking to my colleague with whom we are not in very friendly relations, I observed her uncontrolled reactions to my words: she was frowning in distrust or rolling her eyes.
What can be worse than interrupting? It is really one of the most irritating listening habits, which testifies the absence of respect to the speaker and showing the priority of yourself in the conversation. I usually face it while communicating with my best friend. Sometimes she interrupts me very rapidly with the words “Ohh, you will not believe it what I heard” or “I must tell you what a wonderful dress I bought” and all that while I am telling my stories or experiences.
Asking too many questions. I experienced it when I was telling my colleague about my date I had previously. At first I said that we had visited one very pleasant café and that became the focus of his attention. He kept interrupting and asking me everything about the café (name, place prices) and did not really get the main idea of what I was talking about.

Good listening habits:

Focus on the speaker. It is of vital important to concentrate your attention only on the person you are talking to and not to distract yourself for outside factors. In this case your communication will be effective and successful. One of my friends is a great listener, and she is always very interested in what I am saying and always supports and follows my conversation.
Eye contact and body posture. These are also important points which can judge whether the person is listening to you attentively or not. If the he/she is looking into your eyes and sitting or standing in front of you comfortably (not with crossed hands for example or looking at something around you), you will definitely have a proper conversation with two active participants.
Express or show your understanding. I figured out that it is very important when the person you are talking to really shows understanding. It could be expressed by slight nodding, saying “uh-huh” or “yeah”, facial reaction in support to the words (smile, surprise), etc.
Be attentive to the information provided. Once it happened that my cousin did not get or simply skipped some information during our conversation and then I asked her something what she was thinking about it and she asked “About what?” At such moments we clearly define that this person has bad listening habits.
Proper reaction is required. We always should control our emotions and reactions to what the person in front of us says. Once I was observing the conversation between two my colleagues. One was saying something unpleasant to the other one. But the other did not reveal it in any way and kept control over her emotions and reactions.

Works Cited

Good listening habits. Changing Minds.org. Web 8 Nov. 2015
< http://changingminds.org/techniques/listening/good_listening.htm>